How To Mend A Broken Heart
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One night as they all attended that same ball, Darcy tried to stay attentive to Virginia Wagstaff, but he could not help his gaze from drifting in Elizabeth’s direction. He watched as she charmed her dance partners, wishing he was the recipient of her smiles and witty repartee.
Returning from the card room to check on Edward for Lady
Julia, he noticed Elizabeth dancing with Sir Arnold Murphy. It did not sit well with him as Sir Arnold
was a notorious rake. The predatory
gleam in Sir Arnold’s eyes as they rested on Elizabeth’s bosom, made him want
to march over and drag that scoundrel off the dance floor where he would beat
him to a bloody pulp. Then he noticed
the expression on
Virginia called his attention to something, and when he looked around to locate Elizabeth again, he saw her walk out onto the veranda. Then he saw Sir Arnold going through the doors that opened onto the same balcony Elizabeth had exited onto. Quickly, he excused himself to get some fresh air, following Sir Arnold to make sure that Elizabeth would be safe from the clutches of that rascal.
Stepping out on the veranda, he glanced around searching for
where Elizabeth had gone. Seeing a
couple at the far end in an almost secluded area, he saw Sir Arnold with his
Striding over to the couple, he called out, “Murphy, my good man!”
Sir Arnold turned his head, and sneered, “Darcy, where is
your beautiful fiancée? Should you not
be with her instead of interrupting a private conversation.” Then he turned his head back to
Sensing that she was in danger, Darcy quickly walked over to
them and was about to pull Sir Arnold from Elizabeth and beat him senseless right
then and there when Sir Arnold staggered backward a few steps clutching his
groin. Darcy quickly stepped between Sir
Darcy put out his hand to stop Sir Arnold and then pushed him back a few steps where he hoped they would be out of earshot of Elizabeth. In a low, menacing voice Darcy informed the injured gentleman (if he could be called that), “If you ever address Miss Bennet again, I will string you up by your short and curlies from the chandelier for all to see what a worthless human being you truly are.”
Trying to find a defiant posture was difficult for Sir Arnold as the pain radiating from his groin made it impossible to stand up straight. However, that did not stop him from challenging Darcy. “Darcy, you do not have the nerve. I wager it takes a pole up your arse to get your cock hard.”
Growling, Darcy countered, “Whether or not you believe me, my cousin, General Fitzwilliam, is a different matter. He is just inside and is Miss Bennet’s escort for the evening. You might have noticed him. He is in his full dress uniform which includes a sword, and he is highly trained with the use of it. I am sure that he would be happy to remove from your person that part of your anatomy to make my threat without merit.”
Carefully cradling his genitals, Sir Arnold limped back into the house.
After watching Sir Arnold’s retreat, Darcy turned around to see Elizabeth smiling at him. He walked the few steps to stand directly in front her and asked, “Miss Bennet, are you unharmed?”
“Yes, Mr. Darcy, I am fine. Again I must thank you for coming to my rescue. You always seemed to be around when a gentleman chooses to lavish unwanted attention upon me.”
“It is always a pleasure to be of service to you, Miss Bennet. Though, I am not sure what service I rendered as you seemed to have handled Sir Arnold quite effectively.”
Watching her for a moment, he debated whether to ask her a most improper question. With curiosity getting the better of him, he proceeded. “Miss Bennet, I know I am pushing the bounds of our friendship, but I was wondering…I was curious…how it is that…” At this point he was quite frustrated in how to broach his question.
Elizabeth looked up, having pity on him and said, “How was I able to disable Sir Arnold?”
Clearing his throat, he replied, “Yes, it is just that my curiosity was overwhelmed. It is quite an effective tactic; though not one most young ladies are taught.”
Elizabeth laughed. “Well, you have your cousin, the general, to thank for my unladylike behavior.”
“Fitzwilliam taught you about that maneuver?” He laughed.
“Yes, after the incident with Mr. Collins and his knowledge of some of the gentlemen that I might encounter this Season, he felt it necessary that I be armed, in his words, against the enemy.”
Darcy leaned his head back and laughed. “Well, I am glad to know that his military background has found some use.”
When he returned his gaze to her, she was smiling at him with that mischievous twinkle in her eye he loved so, the gleam that rendered him speechless. She stole his breath away. The sight of the shimmering moonlight bathing her hair in silvery lights disarmed his ability to stop his next actions. Placing his hands on her cheeks, he leaned in and pressed his lips against her.
He waited for a few moments for her to push him away. When she did not, he increased the pressure. Again, no response from her. Daringly, he used his tongue to taste her lips. This produced a small gasp but she still did not push him away so he took further advantage of the apparent fact that she was accepting his transgression and slipped his tongue between her parted lips and into her mouth.
Fully expecting to be pushed away after this most intrusive liberty, she placed her hands on his chest. He was surprised when she took hold of his lapels and pulled him to her. But nothing prepared him for when she began to gently suckle his tongue into her mouth. His body jerked with the speed of his erection. It was an erection that quivered and pulsated at being so close in proximity of where it wanted to be buried; an erection that cried out for the warm, soft enclave of a woman; an erection that had not enjoyed a woman’s attention in years. It is one thing to build an arousal, but quite another to have it ignited with the speed of a shooting star.
His star was about to fade when the convulsion of his body made her release from his kiss. Staring down at the puzzled look on her face, he realized that they could be observed. He dismissed the thought that she might want to end this interlude as he searched for a more secluded spot, for he was not finished with Miss Bennet, not yet. Placing his hands on her waist, he lifted her up and walked a few yards to an alcove that was bathed in shadows and hidden from view so anyone coming out of the house would not be able to see them.
For the entire short jaunt, they looked intently into each other’s eyes, both wondering what the other was thinking and yet both afraid to ask as if it would break this magical shield that surrounded them, shrouding them in a cloak of intimacy. Overjoyed that she had not done to him what she had to Sir Arnold and that she had responded to him in a favorable manner made his heart sing. He knew he was pushing his luck when he kissed her before, but G-d help him, he could not resist.
Her hands had rested on his shoulders to steady herself while he carried her. When she was steady on her feet, he kissed her more fervently as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. Hesitantly, she touched his lips with her tongue. That was all the incentive he needed to draw her tongue into his mouth as he teased and tasted it with such fervor. When he felt her hands lift from his shoulders, he feared she would bring them down to his chest and push away from him but she put her hands on the back of his neck and began running her finger through his curls, sending shockwaves of pleasure through him.
He lost all rational thought as desire, passion, and lust overtook his body in a fervent heat. Placing his hands on her buttocks, he pressed her tightly against his arousal. He heard her gasp which only made him rub harder against her stomach. He was but seconds away from lifting her up on the balustrade and raising her skirts to spread her legs and plunge so deeply into her that he would never find his way out.
Then everything crashed down around him as
Seeing her tears, he pulled her to him in a gentle embrace. Resting his chin on the top of her head, he exclaimed, “Oh! G-d, help me!”
He heard her murmur against his chest, “G-d help us both!” Then she stepped back out of his embrace and said, “I believe it is time I returned.”
Sadly he nodded his head.
“Mr. Darcy, you know we are playing with fire, and I will tell you right now that I do not wish to be singed.” Turning, she walked away.
He watched her until she was out of sight and then whispered, “But Elizabeth, all I desire is to be consumed by your fire.”
Moving back into the shadows, he leaned against the stone wall of the house as he faced out over the gardens. His whole body was thrumming; his erection almost painful in need of release, and he had no idea of what to do next. The thought of having to masturbate in such a public place was untenable, and unless he could get his emotions under control, he would have no other choice. Unbuttoning the top button of his trousers, he hoped to relieve some of the pressure. Taking several deep breaths to calm himself, he tried to think of something to take his mind off his predicament. Closing his eyes, immediately the images and feelings of what just happened flooded his thoughts. It is no use, I might as well expose myself and be done with it.
Looking over his shoulder as he began to unbutton the next button, he was halted by the sight of Virginia Wagstaff rounding the corner.
“Fitzwilliam, there you are. I knew you had to be out here somewhere, so I started my search in the more secluded areas.” She laughed as she walked up to him and slipped her hand in the crook of his elbow.
Virginia Wagstaff, upon meeting a gentleman, first looked him in the eye and then at his crotch. It was how she judged her effect on men. When she saw that the top button of his trousers was undone, she immediately reached over and slid her hand over his length. “Oh! My! It seems I have found you just in time. Come, there is a door just around the corner. We can slip upstairs and find an empty bedroom. Then I can take care of your problem, for you surely cannot return to the ballroom in that state.”
Removing her hand, he replied, “I think not,
He looked down at her offering. It was the size of a honeydew melon; the slight chill in the air made the light brown nipple wrinkled as a prune, and the nub enlarged to the size of a plump raisin. Yes, he was starving but not for this fare. What he truly hungered for just walked away leaving him ravished but with no appetite, except for what he could not have.
He looked Virginia in the eye and shook his head.
Confused by his obvious arousal, she could not understand why he refused her. But she was going to find out, “Fitzwilliam, I do not understand why you will not let me relieve you. I am not coming to you inexperienced in the sexual arts. I am fully aware of the pleasures that a man and woman can offer one another. I also know that you have some renown for your prowess with the ladies in the bed chamber.”
He looked at her sharply.
“Lord Matlock was most entertaining in his stories of his
adventures in the brothels of
Darcy shook his head, disgusted at Edward and his lack of discretion.
“Regardless, we are both experienced in carnal indulgences. Therefore, I can see no reason to wait until our union is sanctioned by the church.”
He did not want to have this conversation with her. He only wanted to be left alone, so he replied, hoping to silence her on the subject, “But there is the difference between us, I do see the reason to wait. And besides, I believe we have already had this conversation.”
Looking at him, she could not figure what he was about. Before their engagement he seemed eager about bedding her though he was too much of gentleman to ask, and she knew if she had made the suggestion she would have only become his mistress with never a chance to be his wife. But since their engagement, he seemed to have lost interest in pursuing any intimate activities, though his body obliviously expressed its desire for such.
Frustrated, she said, “Fitzwilliam, I am not a virgin bride. I have been married and have two sons to show for it. I know what is required for a lady to please a gentleman. I will be your wife, and I am willing to begin my wifely duties now regardless of the consequences.”
Taking a deep breath, he responded, “Virginia, Lemuel Wagstaff was a good friend of mine. Do you not think I feel some guilt in assuming his role as your lover? The least I can do to respect his memory is to wait until we have taken our vows. And what about his sons, do you really want to set such an example for them if there are consequences? Once we are married, I promise I will be everything a husband should be in satisfying your needs.”
She wanted to scream at him but I want to be fucked now! But she did not. Bringing her late husband and sons into this conversation left her without any recourse but to agree with him. “You are right. I am marrying you because you are an honorable man, and you should not be made to do something against that sense of honor.”
“Thank you, Virginia,” he sincerely said.
She grinned at him and asked, “Can I at least stay and watch?”
He flushed bright red, “Absolutely not. What I have to do is private?”
“But you are standing here in the open with hundreds of people just a few feet away. I doubt you will have any privacy. On the other hand, I could stand watch and make sure you are not disturbed.”
Feeling the full shame of the dilemma he was in, he hung his
head. Pleadingly, “Please,
“Very well, Fitzwilliam.” He was to be her husband, and she did have some sympathy for his position.
Slipping her arm through the sleeve of her gown, she struggled to get her bared breast again contained within her bodice before saying, “I will go back and divert anyone wishing for some air away from your secluded spot.”
He nodded his thank you.
“I will be waiting by the terrace doors for you. Judging from what I can discern, you will not be long.” She smiled at him and turned to leave.
He watched her walk away then placed his hands on the
balustrade and took several deep breaths in hopes of composing himself. His tête-à-tête
Try as he might, he could not keep his thoughts from
reverting to his time with
Standing up straight, he looked over his shoulder to ensure that no one was about before unbuttoning one side of his trousers. Holding up the buttoned side with one hand, he reached down and lifted his entire genitalia from the confines of his trousers. With a sign of relief, he began stroking the entire length of his manhood; increasing his pace with each down stroke. Within a minute, he felt his climax nearing as he pumped even harder until his body shook with such intensity, and a stream erupted from him with such force that it arched over the balustrade and onto the lawn below. The release was so powerful that it took his breath away, causing him to bend over as he gasped for air. Feeling light headed, he reached out to support himself. His greatest fear was that he would pass out and crumble to the floor of the terrace where anyone could come by and see his shame exposed.
When he got enough air in his lungs to prevent his fainting, he stood up straight and pulled a handkerchief from his pocket to clean himself. Once that was accomplished, he restored his clothing to rights. Still shaky, he placed his hands on the railing and leaned forward until he could gain full use of his senses. Looking out on the grass, his eye was drawn to something gleaming in the moonlight about ten feet from the house. He did not need a second look to know what it was, and he could not help the grin on his face as he took pride in his potency.
Soon reality intruded as he heard voices. Standing up straight, he walked back to the ballroom. He could not force his normal, confident stride as his confidence was lost at the number of ungentlemanly acts he had perpetrated in the last half hour since he first stepped foot out onto this veranda.
As she crawled into her bed,
“Elizabeth, you look ill,” Lady Suzan commented in a concerned manner. “Do you wish to leave?”
“No, your Ladyship. I am well,” she lied. She was not well; her entire body was flushed with the warmth of his embrace. She could smell his scent upon her gown, and it made her dizzy. The taste of him was on her tongue. Her lips longed for his kiss. The realization that he was still in love with her was nothing to her recognition that she was in love with him. She had wanted nothing more than to find a quiet place where she could reflect on the time she had just spent with him. But she knew she could not do that; she needed to see him once more. To see that he still loved her; that he wanted her with such a fierce passion. No, she would not leave this place until she was assured that he was real and not some dream.
Regaining her senses, she scanned the room for him. Not seeing him, she wondered if he had returned as she glanced at the doors that lead out onto the veranda. The evening had a bit of a chill to it and those that needed to get away from the crush were venturing to the large foyer or other less crowded areas of the house. Making one more scan of the room to be sure that he had not returned, she cast her gaze to the outside doors. It was but moments before she saw him enter; her heart leapt. Then despair filled her as she saw Mrs. Wagstaff take him by the arm and lead him away. She watched him until he turned and fixed her that intense stare of his. He was communicating with her that he had not forgotten their time just spent together. She held his stare for a few moments before averting her eyes.
Leaning over toward Lady Suzan, she said, “Lady Suzan, I am feeling unwell. Might we leave now?”
Now, lying in her bed, she found she could not sleep as she kept recounting their time on the veranda.
She knew that when he first kissed her that she should have stopped it then and there, but she could not. His touch was gentle and caring; his touch was soothing; she had felt safe and protected in his presence. That was why she let him continue, why she encouraged him. She should feel ashamed at her wanton behavior, but she could not as she could not regret something that felt so right, so natural.
Reaching inside her night gown, she touched her erect nipple. Rubbing her fingers against it caused it to harden as it had done when he was stoking her arms. Using her fingers, she pinched it and then twisted it. It stiffened even more, almost to the point of hurting, but not quite. She arched back as desire ran from her breast to between her legs. Putting her other hand underneath the covers, she pulled her nightgown up to her hips. Then she began to stroke the area between her legs as she felt the same longing when he pulled her against him and she could feel the length of his manhood resting in the crease between her legs.
Expecting feelings of
disgust and horror as he began grinding into her, she found they were not
there, though the longing to have his hard length inside of her frightened
her. She wanted him to quench the desire
that ran rampant throughout her body. Is this what my aunt meant about it being
pleasurable? Is this what seduced my
She knew at that moment he could have taken her virtue. And if she had not remembered that he was promised to another, she would have let him. It was the hardest thing she had ever done to push away from him. And now her body ached for the want of him…the need of him.
What does he want from me? He is betrothed to another and nothing can come of this. How am I going to comport myself around him now when all I want is for him to kiss me; to feel his body against mine; to long to have him within me? For now I truly know that the intimate acts of a man and woman are not so wholly bad.
Rolling on her side, she lifted the covers. Raising her leg, she placed a pillow between them nestling it tightly at the apex that separated them. Then grabbing another pillow, she hugged it to her. Wishing it was him that she was holding; wanting him desperately to be lying in her bed, she buried her head in the pillow and began to mourn for a man that would never be hers.
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